story of the monthRoshan, Dinesh and Asanka came to Home of Hope on the 19th of June 2001 and in the 1st of batch of children of Home of Hope.
These children came from the war affected area with a background of child abuse in their lives. Their father died with kidney ailment as he was a heavy alcoholic. Roshan the eldest is a mentally imbalanced child who grew without any medical help and found it very difficult to fit into normal life. He was sent to school but was always overage in his class which resulted him being bullied by the others. Finally a stage came that he refused to attend school and got a training in day to day activities at Home of Hope.
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| Few days after Roshan
Came to Home of Hope 2001 |
Dinesh – few days after
he came to Home of Hope 2001 |
Asanka 2001 |
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| 2005 | 2009 | 2009 |
As he was getting into his adulthood, mother decided to take him and get him employed. Now he is with the mother employed as a helping hand in masonry. He is 20 yrs now.
Dinesh, who is a very quiet but active child, has grown into a very eligible young boy. He completed his O/L exams in 2008 which he did not get through well. So he decided to follow a printing/book binding course. He is now involved in book binding which is quite rare in Sri Lanka and while getting trained he gets an allowance too. He has started with his own savings book. He goes to the bank by himself and does banking of which he is quite proud of.
Before he came to Home of Hope:
At the age of 8 yrs Dinesh was taking care of the family. He used to cook, take care of the brother (Asanka) and the older brother too. After the father’s death, instead of the older brother taking responsibility, it was Dinesh who maintained the family.
Mother used to work in a “stone mine” and Dinesh after school comes home cooks, gives the brothers to eat, takes food for the mother. He could not concentrate in his studies as the house work was much more of a responsibility to him.
We remember well when he came here, he told us that when the war was on – sometime the armed forces would come into their village late in the night and ask them to vacate the hut they were living in as the rebels are planning to attack. So they take whatever they can and spend more than 2 to 3 days in the jungle not knowing what would happen to them at any given moment.
When Dinesh was asked to draw his past – it was all about the war – with guns, dead bodies, jungle, and dark days. This is what they were going through while at home.
Asanka : He was just 2 ½ yrs old when he came along with his brothers to Home of Hope. Now he is 14 yrs old and has grown to be a very responsible young boy. He does not remember much of the past. He is a good artist and concentrates much on his studies. Not a very aggressive boy but when provoked he could be very bad. He takes care of the younger inmates in the Dorm and plays a very responsible role in the Dormatory.
Asanka wants to work at Home of Hope to take care of children after his studies especially to put into practice what he has learnt from Home of Hope and lead the younger ones to be good citizens of Sri Lanka.
Vijidaran who is with us upto now, tells us his whole story. This is their story. When Vivadaran, Vijidaran and |Nishanthy were toddlers their mom had to leave them with a family and seek foreign employment as the father deserted them long years ago when she really needed him to be there to bring up the children. Three children upto date cannot recognize or remember their father. When the mother went abroad she left the children in a house (not known to anyone). In this house the two brothers had to work hard to earn their food. They wake up early when the whole household is asleep and wash pots and pans, do the kitchen work and also do the marketing. Basically they were used as servants in the house though the mother wanted the children to be sent to school and looked after with care. The two brothers were beaten and burnt. Vijidaran showed (now 20 yrs) his scars with much hatred and bitterness in his heart. When he was related the story he was full of anger and hatred towards the mother. This household had many grown up children but they never lifted their finger to do any work. All the work was done by Vivadaran and Vijidaran. The house owner was a businessman and most often the whole family is in Colombo. When they go they give Rs. 5/- or Rs. 6/- for a week to use Rs. 1/- per day as food money. They could only buy a small biscuit for this money. So the brothers decided to fend for themselves to keep them alive especially the sister who was only 9 or 10 months old! What responsibility at this stage in life! They used to pick woodapple, mango and various other things, sell and find their money to feed themselves. They go to the Kovil (Hindu Temple) close by from where they found some consolation to their aching hearts and hungry stomachs!
When the mother left them with this family, she promised to send money for their upkeep and so she did but the lady of the house always said that money was not sent and therefore they cannot keep them and all three were chased out of the house in the middle of the night.
Just imagine the plight the three kids were placed in. Scared, lonely, no place to go, no one to comfort them, no shelter, no food but just thrown out of the house in the middle of the night! They were just 8, 9 and months old sister. Vijidaran says that night they felt like committing suicide but something held them back! They were so frustrated and frightened! Their only option was the beach. They lived in an old boat by the beach. That was their home but the brothers were concerned about the sister and decided to leave the sister in the Hindu Temple with an old lady who was kind enough to take care of Nishanthy. Vivadaran and Vijidaran were so brave boys that they went fishing and earned their living and also made provision for the sister to attend school.
For now, things seemed to be working out well with their fishing and getting their sister into school but suddenly disaster struck again. The old lady who was taking care of Nishanthy was taken away from the Temple and Nishanthy was left alone. Now the brothers had to find another solution. What responsibility and decision making!!
At this time, the Chief of the Temple came forward to take care of Nishanthy and took to his house. Now this man took advantage of the situation and demanded money from the brothers for taking care of Nishanthy.
When fishing was impossible, they used to work in the market or almost beg on the street for food. Many a times they eaten food from the dustbins, half spoilt fruits were given to them by the shop owners. This was luxury food for them at that time to get over their hunger! Meanwhile they got to know that the sister was not happy and she was used as a servant – she would have been around 6 years then. The brothers could not handle this and they decided to keep the sister with them. So they lived in the boat with the sister for many months. People living in the beach would help them out in many ways and most of the time the brothers worked so hard to take care of their sister.
During this time, their father suddenly appeared from no where and took them to the place where he was working. This was short-lived. Once again the father disappeared and left these children on the road. Oh what anger came to their little minds – Vijidaran says he could have killed his father at that time. Once again they are left homeless, parentless, loveless and everything under the sun! What desperation & frustration would have gone through those little minds.
After years, mother came back to Sri Lanka and came to the beach looking for them. When the mother approached them – none of them recognized her and especially the sister could not remember her. In fact Nishanthy calls her “Acca” that’s “big sister” in tamil. Mother took them and kept with her but the kids did not feel home and most of the time came back to the beach where they felt “home”. Finally the mother had to lodge a complaint in the police and had come taken them.
Vijidaran recalls that upto today he does not have any love towards the mother and to call her mother that he feels shy and some kind of eery feeling creeps into him when he thinks of her because he feels that she has ruined their lives and never allowed them to live their childhood. At this time, mother took them to a Church closeby and that Pastor had told them about Home of Hope and all three were brought to Home of Hope on the 19th of June 2001.
Vivadaran the oldest left Home of Hope after completing his studies and learning welding but tragically his young life ended too soon.
Vijidaran still feels the loss of his brother and we too have a big vacuum at Home of Hope!
